Hugs, Tech Support and a Wall Fish

Yesterday was wild.  As usual, my kids woke up raring to go.  When I wake up in the mornings, I’m stumbling around, bleary-eyed, headed almost immediately in search of caffeine so that I can be nice to my children when they gleefully bound down the stairs in search of hugs and breakfast.  They wake up making shooting noises and climbing up the dressers to unhook the baby monitor so they can play with the camera before they come downstairs.

Still, I love how trusting they are. Somehow, they know when they get up in the mornings, they’ll find hugs and breakfast waiting at the bottom of those stairs. I hope they always have the security of knowing that home is a safe place. No matter where they go, or what they do, I pray they’ll know they can always come home, and mommy will always be waiting with open arms and an open seat at the kitchen table.

Back to yesterday… My babies have been sick, so we’ve added temperature checking to our daily routine for the last few days. Yesterday’s results showed that three of the four still had fever, so I was hoping to let them kind of take it easy and get as much rest as they could.

After several months of dissatisfaction with our current cable provider, my husband scheduled a new company to come yesterday to install their stuff. I’d be more technical and describe that “stuff” for you, but I do not speak tech, and I have absolutely no idea what they actually installed. Come to think of it, that is probably not wise. I hope that “stuff” isn’t webcams with live feeds posting all of our antics directly to the internet. That could get awkward.

They gave us that oh-so-infuriating “we’ll be there between 8 and 8 so don’t run to the bathroom, go upstairs, or have Super Why playing so you miss the doorbell” window of time for when they’d be there. We also had a furniture delivery for “sometime between 8 and 5,” so we were set to camp out at the house for the day.

That worked out pretty well in the morning. Everyone seemed to kind of settle in after breakfast, and I was even able to do 4-5 loads of laundry before 10:00. That never happens around here, so I was already planning the closet clean-outs I wanted to accomplish while the kids convalesced. I fed them lunch and got them down for naps. After that, though, things got a little hairy.

The furniture people showed up first. They were in the middle of asking me where things needed to go when the cable guy knocked on the door. I let him in and got him started and ran back to the furniture delivery people. They were in and out, bringing things in and shifting things around, and the cable guy kept asking me all kinds of technical questions, and like I said, I don’t speak that language, so I’d text tech support (AKA, my husband, Ryan) and wait for his reply so I could relay it to the cable guy.

The furniture looked great, and those guys left. They were in and out in about 30 minutes.

The cable guy? Not so much.

Where on EARTH do they find these people? Is it just me that always gets the one who has NO IDEA what he’s doing? When he wasn’t talking to his girlfriend on the phone, he was asking me what kind of connector he needed to link his wires. Lord, forgive me, but I was thinking, “Honey, I don’t think your wires have any connectors.” I kept that thought to myself and told him I was sorry, but he might want to call his tech support people for that one, because I couldn’t even cobble together a question to ask Ryan what this guy needed to do.

Next, he was asking me how to do a “wall fish.”

Excuse me? A what?

Tech support explained that is the term for dropping a cable line in the wall in order to install an outlet. Great. I learned my “something new” for the day. I’ll file that in my “totally useless information” file along with what I learned about phytoplankton in Bio II in college. I told the cable guy that I wasn’t qualified to help him with that one, so he called his supervisor.

The cable guy arrived at our house around 2:30. By 4:30, he still had not actually done anything, and the kids got up from nap.

That’s when life got very interesting. My kids don’t meet a stranger. Anywhere. We’ll be in a store, and Riley will walk up to a total stranger (who could be a serial killer, for all I know) and hold his arms up for them to pick him up so he can talk to them.

My kids were all totally fascinated with the cable guy. He was in and out, on the phone, and up and down the stairs. All four of the kids tried to follow him. Everywhere.

Paris crawled up to him and flapped her little arms and tried her best to climb up his pants legs to get him to hold her. More than once.

Every time the dude went outside, which was a lot since he was a smoker, Riley chased after him as fast as his little skinny legs would carry him, crying and saying, “Come back! Come back!” like he’d known this guy his whole life and couldn’t bear to see him go.

Cable guy’s supervisor showed up around 5:30. So, then, there were two of them. One would go out the front door and not close it completely behind him, and one of the kids would run after him yelling, “Come back,” while the other guy would go out the garage door, and Paris would try to crawl out after him.

We have chimes on our doors, so we know when one of them opens because our kids have escaped before… We discovered the hard way they knew how to unlock deadbolts. One day, a few months before Paris got here, I was undressing Reagan, Riley and Izzi to get them into the bathtub, and while I turned around to get towels, my three kids headed out the garage door, down the driveway and down the street. One was totally naked. One had on a diaper. The other one had on a shirt and nothing else. My next door neighbor who happened to be outside mowing the grass brought them back to me laughing hysterically.  We now have deadbolts and surface locks that are too high for them to reach, even when they push the kitchen chairs over to the door and try to reach the locks so they can go outside.

Yesterday, the doors were unlocked for the cable people, and the kids must have thought they had hit the jackpot.  I wasn’t feeling all that lucky.  I was literally running back and forth from door to door, rescuing children as they tried to make their escapes. At one point, I went upstairs because I remembered earlier in the day the cable guy who was not the supervisor for a reason had asked me to open the attic door that has a door handle and usually remains locked from the inside. Sure enough, Riley was testing the knob to get into the usually forbidden zone.  I scooped him up before he could get in, locked the door and scrambled back downstairs just as Reagan was headed out the back door to find his new friends.

The silver lining to this is I got my exercise in, so I don’t have to feel guilty that I skipped Pilates for the 30th day in a row, but by the time Gigi and Auntie M got there with dinner (YES! I have “those” in-laws – They bring me food and come over to help me bathe the kids or read them books or hold the baby or whatever else I need help with. They’re awesome.), I was pretty sure yesterday was the day I was going to get in my car and drive until I found a hospital with a psych ward so I could check myself in for a voluntary 24-hour hold.

Tech support got home around 7:45, so he answered the rest of the questions for me. The cable guy left around 8:30 with the promise that his supervisor would be back tomorrow to finish up the fishing expedition in the wall. Awesome. Thanks so much. Looking so forward to doing this again.

At the end of the day, only two of the four had fever! Hallelujah!  I didn’t get the closets cleaned out, the rest of the laundry is still in piles in my laundry room, and the cable people are returning later today, but I survived yesterday with a lot of help and only a few moments of insanity, and in a couple of hours, my kids will be getting up, bounding down the stairs, and looking for mommy to get a hug and some breakfast, so I really can’t complain.  Happy Wednesday, y’all!



One Comment

  1. Ginger

    You never cease to amaze me! and bring me to laughter! (on your dime I’m sorry to say!) but I love the adventures of the “party of six” LOL love you all . . .

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